“We could be heroes, just for one day…”

“Heroes” by the one and only David Bowie has felt like my theme song lately and I couldn’t really tell you why. I mean, I can feel why it would feel that way but putting it into words isn’t all that easy. Perhaps its the nature of online dating, or more specifically Tinder and those people you meet on there, chat with for a week or two before either meeting up and realizing its all been a horrible mistake or un-matching because someone else has come along and taken your interest for another fleeting moment. The never-ending cycle of online dating, with a few shooting stars in the mix of course because it can’t be all bad, no matter how it might seem when you’re stuck in those moments, right?

So, what is the point of this wee anonymous blog of mine? For the past year and a half, life has sped up, slowed down, thrown curve balls and revealed plot twists that I couldn’t have seen coming even if I was writing the script to my own life. There have been moments where I thought ‘well, that’s surely it, there’s definitely no coming back from this.’ and decisions made that shocked me and left my pillowcases soaked with tears for what seemed like the millionth time. No, this entire blog won’t be about those fella’s that have contributed to some of the horrible moments that my pillowcases surely hate me for, but I can’t deny that they have left their impressions on me and this heart of mine which is most definitely in a state of recovery even as I type these words.

This secret sidekick has been just that over the past eighteen months — a sidekick to my own story in which I should be the main character, the hero, right? But this suppose to be hero has taken a backseat at times and been kept a secret by certain, well, you’ll get to know them by their main signifiers (the alcoholic, the widower etc) when its time to write about them and how they play into this story of mine. A story in which at times I have been the villain, something I will freely admit. I will also admit that my own anxiety has kept me in the shadows, off stage during my own play when the spotlight should indeed be on the star.

It’ll get a little messy at times and I’m sure there will be moments where regrets are screaming far too loudly to be ignored but there’s just too many tales to tell, ladies and gentleman. Tales of a gal just trying to make the most of life, find out what exactly that means while all the while searching for the ‘one‘.

Ever wondered what its like for a gal in her thirties to date in this modern world of ours? Well, you’ll find out in the next chapter.

The secret sidekick.